yesterday as i was walking into the dining room eating some ham i heard the key turn in the lock which meant ivan was home. the same feeling that has often come over me hit me with undeniable force - "hide!" i silently slipped into the pantry & closed the door leaving just a crack. i was going to scare the bejesus out of him as he walked past; it was going to be epic. the first time he walked past i still had a rather large chunk of half masticated ham in my mouth so i decided to wait, surely he would walk past again soon. our apartment is rather small, where else was he going to go? my bag & coat, etc. were in the dining room so i figured he would see that & get curious as to where i had gone.
however, this did not happen. he walked in the bathroom, he walked into the bedroom, then he went into the kitchen & started doing dishes . . . DISHES! ivan hates doing dishes & the first thing he does when he gets home is dishes! normally i would have thought how sweet {which i admit did happen momentarily} but i just really wanted him to walk into the dining room so i could pop out "kato" style ↓ & he would commence screaming. so i waited patiently. normally when ivan does dishes he does as little as possible & it takes him 5 minutes. i could wait 5 minutes. so i stood & listened to my sweet husband wash dishes. i waited . . . & waited . . . & waited . . . the sound of clinking dishes & running water kept going . . . & going . . . & going . . . when was this going to end?! i shifted quietly & waited some more. i was fine until body parts started to go numb from a rather cramped positioning, so i shifted again & began to use my psychic powers to get him to stop washing those damn dishes! the dish washing just continued on.
i started to contemplate giving up on the whole thing but then i thought "well, i've waited this long, it would be ridiculous to give up now" . . . and so i waited . . .
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